Desi Talk

www.desitalk.com – that’s all you need to know LIFESTYLE 20 SPECIAL REPORT October 24, 2025 Indian Cuisine Is Inspiring A New Wave Of Innovative Cocktails into a drink – one I can use to toast our beautiful complexity, and the hope that we protect it. LAKHAN’S OLD-FASHIONED This spicy riff on the Old-Fashioned, named for a street-smart character in a Bollywood film, uses a split base of bourbon and brandy for complexity, and layers in a rich chaat masala syrup. The Indian spice blend includes amchoor (dried mango) powder, cumin, black salt and other savory spices. Total time: 15 minutes, plus time to cool the syrup Servings: 1 (makes 1 cocktail) Make ahead: The chaat masala syrup needs to be prepared and completely cooled before serving. Storage: Refrigerate the chaat masala syrup for up to 2 weeks. Where to buy: Jaggery can be found at Indian or South Asian markets, and on- line; chaat masala can be found at Indian and international markets, and online. INGREDIENTS For the chaat masala syrup • 7 ounces (200 grams) crumbled or powdered jaggery (seeWhere to buy and Substitutions) • Scant 1/2 cup (100 grams) water • 2 teaspoons chaat masala (seeWhere to buy) For the cocktail • 1 large ice cube, plus smaller ice cubes • 1 ounce bottled-in-bond bourbon, such as Old Forester 1897 or Heaven Hill • 1 ounce Spanish brandy, such as Lustau Solera Reserva • 1/8 ounce (3/4 teaspoon) chaat masala syrup • 2 dashes Angostura bitters • 2 dashes orange bitters • Strips of orange peel, for garnish DIRECTIONS Make the syrup: In a small (2-quart) saucepan over low heat, combine the jaggery and water, and heat, stirring gently until the jaggery is fully dissolved. Bring the liquid to a simmer but do not let it come to a boil. Add the chaat masala and gently simmer until infused, 2 to 3 minutes. Line a fine-mesh strainer with a double layer of cheesecloth and strain the syrup through it into a liquid measur- ing cup. You should have about 1 cup. Let cool completely, then transfer to a clean bottle. Use right away, or refrigerate until needed. Make the cocktail: Add the large ice cube to a rocks glass and set aside. Fill a mixing glass with smaller ice cubes, and add the bourbon, brandy, chaat masala syrup, Angostura bitters and orange bit- ters. Stir until well chilled and diluted, about 15 seconds, then strain into the glass. Express an orange peel over the drink, garnish with the peel and serve. Substitutions: Jaggery >> panela, muscovado, demer- ara or brown sugar. Variations: Try rye whiskey in place of bourbon for more spice; swap cognac or other brandy, if desired. Nutritional Facts per drink | Calories: 168, Fat: 0 g, Saturated Fat: 0 g, Carbohy- drates: 3 g, Sodium: 0 mg, Cholesterol: 0 mg, Protein: 0 g, Fiber: 0 g, Sugar: 3 g This analysis is an estimate based on available ingredients and this prepara- tion. It should not substitute for a dieti- tian’s or nutritionist’s advice. Adapted from Dante Datta and E. Jay Apaga of Tapori restaurant inWashing- ton, D.C. -Special to TheWashington Post PHOTO:Lauren Bulbin/TheWashington Post Lakhan’s Old-Fashioned features a rich chaat-masala-spiced simple syrup. - Continued From Page 18 Ask Sahaj: White Parent Trying To Set A Play Date Worries About Cultural Taboos D ear Sahaj: My daughter (8) has become close friends with another girl who has been in her class every year since kindergarten. This girl is from an Afghan family that moved to the U.S. post-2021, so I imagine the transition has been difficult for them. I have met the mother once at a school event; she doesn’t speak much English, so communica- tion was difficult. My daughter loves this friend and would like to play with her outside of school. But my efforts to do this in the usual way (sending texts to the parents’ phone number provided in the class directory) have resulted in nothing. Is this something I should give up on? On the one hand, I imagine they have bigger difficul- ties than arranging a play date, and as aWhite person my- self I have no idea what cultural taboos I may be stepping on when I reach out. On the other hand, I hate to imagine their daughter is not getting time with her friends be- cause of a language/culture barrier. (She also seems very fond of my daughter, as there are big hugs, laughter and constant togetherness when they are around each other at school events.) Is there a way to foster this friendship? - Cross-Cultural Playdates CCP: The silence doesn’t necessarily mean “no.” As you said, they may be navigating some stressors with their recent resettlement. Additionally, in many Central Asian and South Asian cultures, children spend time together in the context of family visits, community gatherings or su- pervised settings - not necessarily the “drop-off playdate” format that’s common in the U.S. Even more, playdates with friends may not be as prioritized in these cultures as family time, cultural/religious community-related events or even academic or skill-based extracurriculars. But there may be ways you can acknowledge all of this creatively in your efforts. Regardless of it being several years of your daugh- ters being in school together, you are a stranger to this mom. Consider how you can be more of a friend to her - through kindness, hospitality and generosity - before the kids get involved. How can you get some more face time with the mom to help her feel more comfortable around you? Keep in mind that many collectivist cultures tend to be high-context cultures, which means communication is often less direct and more nonverbal and contextual. Be mindful of how you are using nonverbal warmth (like smiling and waving) when you are seeing her in person. Regardless of language, these can go a long way. If you are leaning on text to communicate, consider using short and very clear sentences, so it can be easy to translate on her end. And even more, if you are unable to get time with her in person, you could send a note home with a small gift for your daughter to pass on through her daughter. (Consider asking the school if they have any resources for helping you translate into Dari, Pashto or any other language this family speaks.) Introducing yourself, offering to be a helping hand with her daughter (especially because your daughter is so fond of her), and showing interest in getting to know her and the family is going to take you further than a straightforward text scheduling a playdate. When it’s time to suggest a playdate, consider invit- ing both her and her daughter over or making it a group endeavor with other girls and mothers. This might sound like: “The girls seem to really love each other. Would you like to come over for tea so the girls can play together after school one day?” Inviting both parent and child at first (and demonstrating hospitality!) reduces worry and shows respect for cultural norms around children’s safety and supervision. It’s also a good time for the parents to meet and get comfortable with each other. You may even consider a neutral space such as meeting at a park or kids museum. This may feel less intimidating than inviting them into your home right away. Finally, have an age-ap- propriate conversation with your daughter about cultural differences. You want to validate the friendship, explain the barriers without blaming this family’s cultural back- ground or differences, and emphasize patience. You can even explain to your daughter that language differences can make planning harder, but that doesn’t mean her friend doesn’t want to see her. This helps her stay patient and not personalize any silence or delays. So is it worth pursuing? Yes … but gently. You’re un- likely to be violating cultural taboos by showing kindness or inviting them for a get together. If anything, hospital- ity and warmth are highly valued in collectivist cultures. Don’t push too hard or expect fast results. It’s possible she has other kids to think about, duties to fulfill at home that make “after school” playdates impossible, or - as you said - is simply tired or navigating stress/trauma from resettling. If she declines or doesn’t respond, make the choice to not take it as a rejection of you or your daughter. Sahaj Kaur Kohli is a therapist and the creator of Brown Girl Therapy. -TheWashington Post By Sahaj Kaur Kohli PHOTO:@sahajkaurkohli.com